Back Ache

I have noticed over the last couple of days my back has started to ache a little. I will have to keep an eye on it and report it to the nurse on thursday at my weekly blood check session

Bit of a heavy weekend. But i survived

Who'd have thought that being sat in a room for a couple of days, with people you like and care about, and who I hope care about me, can be so tiring.

I did very little this weekend, I joined in discussion when I needed too but otherwise as the weekend I suppose is designed i relaxed.

I survived with only a little chemo brain which to be honest cleared by 6.00 pm so I don't feel so bad now.

A big thanks to all that made it work for me. and the support given to me by those who offered it.

Support

A few weeks ago I joined a website called cancer back up. ran by mcmillan. It offers a lot of support to those who suffer from various forms of cancer, and to their carers.

I particularly find that the chat room offers a kind of support that I have never seen before. A time to talk if you want too. or sit and think (read others txts) if you want too. and no pressure.

The support in its first instance is given mutually by other users, though there is a facility to contact mcmillan nurses. There are a number of groups or forums that you can either post a new topic to or simply reply to someonelses thrread.

Well! i found it helpful and thought that you might. Just in case here is the link.

http://www.whatnow.org.uk/homepage

Chemo Head

This is my second session of CTD (2nd 3 week) treatment programme. Call me slow if you want but this sluggish feeling that I get always follows a Chemo day.

Now that I have that sorted in my head perhaps I can accept the bad day when it hits. And plan a restful day for myself.

I can't sleep tonight, everytime that I lie down i get an acid attack at the back of my throat. very uncomfortable and disturbing for others too. so here I am tellling you.

Good News

After my blood tests today, I saw the consultant. My protein levels haven't changed so that was good news he said.

My platelet levels seem to have stayed the same so that was good he said. but the best news of all was my anemia levels have grown so that was very good news. It means I may be less tired.

I am certainly hoping so.

Weekly Blood check Up

I am due to go for my weekly blood check tommorrow. It can be a bind but last week we talked about the indegestion i was suffering and the fact that i had some tenderness in the palm of my hands.

They said theat my blood would be tested for calcium levels. But I haven't heard anything so perhaps there is no problem apart from what's in my head (only my thoughts). My indegestion seems to have been helped by the extra pills that I have been given.

Anyway, I go at 11.00am. get the blood taken from me and await the visit of my consultant.

complete contrast

In a complete contrast to last weeks post, I feel fine today in fact on top of the world. considering I was awake most of the night.

I couldn't sleep at all, perhaps its the steroids or some of the other pills in the regime I am taking. I don't know. I do know when I take the steroid part of the regime I eat for England and I have the energy of five men.

On Friday I have to go to hospital for my weekly blood check, I am not feeling too bad about it. But can't help thinking that since my diagnosis my time hasn't been mine. I have been given appointment after appointment and guided into the place that I am now. on a drugs regime without really expecting it so quickly. I mean I thought there would be more time to consider it before I started.

Having said that, once I had started the drugs I didn't expect to be monitored every week. I don't know what I was expecting but to drop from every three month to every week surely brought a couple of questions to the table. All I was told was to keep an eye on you.

Any way off I will go like a good boy I am and get the arm full taken await the visit of my consultant and go back next week for my next appointment.

sometimes days are good

Sometimes days are good, and sometimes like the last couple days they are really bad.
I can only describe it like trying to push the world uphill in a force nine gale.

Getting up in the morning is a chore at them moment, getting dressed and going to work also hurts. when i am at work my colleagues wonder why i am not functioning. 'You are here so you should be able to work'. I hear them say.

If they only knew how much effort it has taken me to get there today. how much energy I have used to get to the office. Let alone answering the phone and talking to Customers. It seemed to be an effort just to drink a cup of tea this morning (a pastime i really enjoy). The only thing that I wanted to do from getting into work this morning was go back to sleep.

On days like this my friends suffer, I don't talk to them, Not that i deliberately ignore them. It just seems that my efforts should be concentrated elsewhere. I need all the support that i can get from all the people who can give it.

I feel selfish but don't know how else to cope with the bad days. Two days ago I was fine, it was a steroid day and I was eating for England, wide awake until the early hours of the morning. Then bump! here I am dumped into a hole that I don't like. A place that is hard to get out of and motivate myself from.

I hope the downs don't last long, they hurt so much. I am usually a bouncy person, full of fun. I hate being down, sleepy, grumpy and constantly fighting for energy.

Nose bleeds

recently i have been suffering from a few nose bleeds, might have something to do with the asprin and the rest of the drugs i am taking. They are usually light ones. today was a particularly heavy one. i was all olone this morning when it happened and a little bit shaken if i'm honest.

i don't like blood at the best of times but when it's your own and flowing quite qhickly its not nice. anyway it has stopped now and i am in control again so back to normal

todays visit to consultant

I had an appointment with my consultant today. It appears my myeloma is still high and my paltelets are still very low.....

so no surprise that he is continuing my treatment for another 3 weeks. I am ok with that, as i didn't think one session of treatment would eever be enough.

He also discussed Stem cell harvesting with me. Explaining the procedure, though i am not sure when it would take place.

probably when my platelets rise.

Anyway not too bad a result suppose, keep taking the tablets as they say